Merry Christmas!!

Jwaye Nwèl.........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!........jwaye Nowel

I just want to wish EACH and every one of you a very Merry Christmas. We send our love to all of you. Had we sent out cards this year maybe it would have had all the kids on the picture...........maybe one child holding up a sign that said JOY........maybe one child holding up a sign that said PEACE.........and another holding up BLESSINGS.....

We've experienced all of these through out the last year. It's been a year marked with PATIENCE.........and yet God being FAITHFUL!

See, we never got around to doing our Christmas cards. Once we were SOOOOO close to the end in Nov., we kept hoping that maybe........just maybe......we'd be able to send out a picture of our FAMILY!!!! But, I guess you'll have to wait to get New Years card or something at a different time. But we do send our blessings to you on this special day celebrating our LORD!

December Updates

Our update:

"This month, instead of the usual story on your child, I have done something a little different. I have asked several of our long-term staff (Molly, Joyce, Susan, Stephanie) for the words they would use to describe your children. That list will be included with this update. I hope you enjoy reading the descriptions as much as we enjoyed describing your children!"

Manuel is...

Gentle

Jolly

Good natured

Comfortable

Snuggly

Loving

Samar is...

Content

Joyous

Affectionate

Sporty

Loyal

Inquisitive

It's official....

The paperwork trail has finally catch up and we have some official paperwork taken care of for our 4th adoption!! Let me introduce you to Samar......

She is 6 years old....... and has a beautiful smile :) I know i've talked about her a little bit already........but it's so exciting to be officially connected with our paperwork now!! We'll get monthly updates on her and I'm so looking forward to hearing more about her. I can't even describe how cool it will be to meet her once we pick up Aidan. Anyways........just had to share the good news!!!

No news on Aidan Manuel..........I think the "passport printing" stage ran out of ink.......lol..

In all seriousness.......the following was posted on the GLA websight: So realistically that expected 2 weeks to have the passport printed, which has been 6 weeks...........could very well end up being 8 or 9 weeks...or later........ til after all the holidays.........

***most recent update***The storm passed this afternoon about 3 PM. We mopped floors and cleaned up leaves all day long. We have not seen this type of wind and rain since the Hurricanes of August 2008! The Toddler House lost their avocado tree and the blow up Santa someone donated for their roof! Their front gate was also blown off the hinges. We also lost a baby during the night. He was a baby born to a very young mother and was born with a bilateral cleft palate and lip with other birth defects. He was only here 2 days and was 15 days old on admission and had not been fed since birth. I am very happy that the storm has passed and things have quieted down tonight!

***posted Wed. during the day****We woke up this morning to gale force winds and lots of rain! At 5 AM, my fan went flying out of the window by my bed and woke us all up when it crashed to the floor! The weather map shows a large tropical storm moving over Haiti from the south going toward the north east. It looks like it came from South America overnight.

The wind is so strong right now that it has blown all of the paintings in the stairwell off the wall! There were toys on the balcony where the children play that were blown off and we have no idea where they have blown to! Some children in the neighborhood will truly believe that Père Noël (Santa Claus) has come to visit when they find toys have fallen from the sky into their yard!!!

We had no warning from the TV nor radio that this storm was coming. The staff tells me that everything is closed and I am just praying that things settle down and the government opens today! We need some paperwork from different offices and if we do not get the papers today, we may not get them until after Christmas!

I know this is affecting the people in the mountains and the low areas probably much worse than us at GLA. Please say a little pray for Haiti and the Haitian people for safety today as this storm passes over us.

by the way.....

Since you can't really read my mind.........I thought I better update you on our status :)

We've been able to process events----actually lack of events-----so we have changed....... and re-changed our expectations..........daily. But I know there are some of you who are anxiously waiting and praying for us to have our Dec. child yet, so let me just fill you in that.......... it's not going to happen this year.

Our first hurdle of a series of a few small hurdles was suppose to take about 2 weeks. Well, today came and went and it's been 4 weeks, and still no passport. So another hurdle that follows is suppose to be about 4ish weeks-------I guess I have it in my mind that it's going to take about 10 weeks....

Maybe by the time Aidan comes home, it will be just enough time for him to get to know us before he has to put us in the nursing home.....lol!!

Okay--so seriously back in Sept. I had a dream one night that Aidan was coming home in March. I could vividly recall everything. I brushed it off to absurd--and just a dream---but....I'm facing the possibility that it may be reality and not absurd...........so my new goal is that Aidan is home in March!! Okay---I really, really, really want to spend his 4th birthday with him in Feb., but I don't want to get any hopes up. I'm going with the dream............. I guess all we can do is keep on living and keep praying.................and clinging to God's promises that He will protect Aidan.........He will be his father while he has none.........and his life is in God's hand......

Ps. 68

⁵ A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

and

Deut. 10

¹⁸ He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.

seriously.....

My eyes are a little more open to how socially unjust our culture is. I have a little gift bag to bring down to Aidan and Samar..........or have someone bring down for us assuming we don't hear anything soon....

but anyways.....I made a photo album for Samar and put a few treats in it, and thought I'd do one little toy like a polly pockets. Nothing too big since we'll be seeing her soon hopefully........but most importantly ----pictures for her to know we are her family and sending some love to her.

Ok............so........would you believe I couldn't find a single black polly pocket or barbie doll? Seriously..........

I looked at Target 3 different occasions, and at Meijers during one trip. Oh....they make them. At least barbies.............but they weren't hanging up........Seriously--- what does 30% of the population that is not Caucasian do? Wouldn't you want to buy a doll that looks like the child you are buying it for? Naturally I was looking for a doll that would look like Samar......and couldn't even find one.............what an injustice....disappointing.................and unfair...............makes me sad for the inequalities.......instead we went with a Littest Pet Shop-----something small.....just from us.......to her....

Age old debate

You don't have to be in the adoption world too long before you hear comments like......'what a lucky kid.....just think of the life they would have had'. It's the age old debate about.......are you saving a child or is the child saving you?......

The answer has always been very clear to me ...........

I look at Alyssa and am amazed at God's path for our life. He saved us from pursuing years of infertility treatments........He saved us from struggles..........everything about it benefited us.........as with any first child---it changed our lives forever........for the GOOD.........

Austin....again--we were completely blessed to have 2 children. God saved us from struggling and blessed us with an AMAZING story of God's TIMING and working out EVERY detail when Austin arrived...........we were blessed....

Manuel.....we struggled for a long time figuring out what God wanted of us............we tried living as a family of 4 and convincing ourselves we were complete---but God never gave us the peace...........it was a long struggle.............when we found the path of adopting from Haiti I felt peace.......God saved us from struggling for a lifetime................we were saved..........we could leave our feelings of uncertainty at the feet of God and we could go on with a purpose.............Life was whole again.............we were complete.........

Samar--her journey is still beginning with our family. She gave us purpose and reason to why we moved at this point in our life....our eyes have been opened to letting God go deeper in us........she will complete us......I look forward to her journey.........

I'm very passionate that God picked each of our kids to save US. They each were hand picked by God..... at a certain time in our life.......... to fill a purpose in our life. And God has much more planned for their lives.....I pray that they can follow HIM!

IGBOK

Over the past 2 months it's been good meeting all our neighbors. On one side is a retired couple and as I was chatting with her I found out she headed up the English as a Second Language program at school for the past 20 years. I was thinking..."Yea!!....she might understand things that might be helpful to me...What a great neighbor to have for us God"....

Then I met another neighbor right next door. I found out she's a lower elementary teacher......teaching learning disabilities and special ed. My first thought was........."Ok Lord, I don't really want to get to know this lady....why did you move me next to her?......We may be feeling like you want us to have more kids...............but, really?........I do not want to have her be needed in my life......"

Well...........the kids got to know her after about 2 weeks. It didn't take long to find out she handed out popsicles......Yummmm.......but I still wasn't going to get to know her.....

She invited me to a holiday coffee time at her church last week. She was inviting other neighbor ladies, so I thought it would be a great time to meet others.

I'm SO glad I went. I'm so glad I've had a chance to get to know her. She's very friendly, very inviting, full of hugs, screams grandma all over---as all her kids live out of state......... and I would love to have my kids know her. What a blessing to live next to her...........God did know what he was doing as we moved here...........

Not only did I have a wonderful time meeting other neighbors, but we heard a GREAT talk........about holiday gifts...........one of God's gifts to us................

Jesus says, "I am leaving you with a GIFT---peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 (NLT)

I could certainly apply that to my life. God has giving us amazing peace as we go through these LONG adoption processes............but even when I start to fret.............I know it's there......for me. I even looked around the table and thought about others circumstances........I thought about family members..or small group members........each and every person I know has stuff they go through......and the cool thing is.........God gives us ALL this GIFT!!!

The speaker summed it up by saying IGBOK--"It's going to be OK"

Great posts!

I just checked out GLA's sight and saw Molly had updated the Toddlers house blog. In fact there were about 9 posts I hadn't seen--all since Thanksgiving. They are wonderful and so great to see all the kids and what they are doing! A couple hightlights:

-There are pictures of Thanksgiving--what a celebration!

-There are pictures of the older kids going to church. I'm sure Samar is in that bunch and it's good to hear what they all do!

-The O got an aquarium. Very cute to see the kids line up......in the paragraph talking about it, it even mentions Manuel's name---as him being a little cautious to go up to the tank :)

-Movie night for the older kids......Samar is mentioned as being a 'sweet girl and easy to please and grateful for everything'. We haven't heard to much about her personality yet---so it's fun to find out about life for her.

If you get a chance, check out the activities

http://www.glahaiti.org/toddler_house_blog

Looking all snuggly

What a great picture!! No news on if our passport has been printed, but here was part of our Nov. update...

Manuel is doing well, and he is just such a precious little boy! He loves to smile and laugh, and he is a lot of fun to be around. Manuel is a sweet little boy and easy-going. He gets along well with the other children and is not one to cause problems or disruptions. Manuel knows what he wants, but he does not force his way on others. He still tends to suck his thumb quite often, but there is usually a grin behind his hand. Manuel is not a particularly loud child, but his eyes sparkle when he is enjoying himself, which is often. Manuel is just a great kid, and I am so excited that he will soon be joining your family!

Weight: 26 lbs

Height: 35 inches(89 cm)

Adoption Status: Passport Printing

coffee time

The unknowns are such a killer. My mind was racing around and I could feel myself getting very anxious. I was trying to plan out what I thought would be best and how "the end" might play out. I was thinking it would be cool to have Aidan home at the beginning of Christmas break so that during break the kids would get a chance to play with him...............then I was thinking maybe right before the New Years. And how should we handle Christmas parties...........and should I hope for "normal" holidays for Alyssa and Austin...........but I don't think life can be "normal" until after Aidan gets home. He's there.............on our mind................we're waiting............unable to plan............life is not normal while we wait. We're ready to get on with this. I could just feel my stomach being a bundle of anxious nerves.

so I stopped..........made some coffee............and had a date............

It was just me, my coffee, God and his word.

I didn't ask God to bring Aidan home in Dec., all I asked for was the ability to lay it all down. To feel His presence and be able to hand it all over to Him. God has a perfect plan..........a perfect timing. I don't have to worry about what is best for us, for the kids, or for Aidan. God knows what's best and it will all work out according to that plan. I just asked God for his peace and patience.

So I feel refreshed in Him. Yes---I still check the voice mail and email as soon as I walk in the house..........but deep down I know I have no say in when this all happens so why waste my time thinking about it. Deep down I think I know that my 6ish weeks can't be taken literally. It can be 3-12 weeks......so why try to plan.

i think we are going to enjoy the holidays with where we are at. I think I'd rather be pleasantly surprised and excited than to be disappointed and frustrated.

And as I was having my coffee time..........this is what I read......

⁶ so that from the rising of the sun

to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.

I am the LORD, and there is no other..

.There is no one else----Only the LORD----YHWH---the keeper.

It's not by what man does.............only the Lord...........He is in control!!!

I am not anxious, my stomach is unknotted...........I love coffee time...........

Brown eyed Princess

Little did I know how much a book would affect the rest of my life.

A book was left in our mailbox at church about Haitian restevex. i kind of shrugged my shoulders and thought I'd read part of it.....why not. Paul asked how the book was and i guess I could only summ it up by saying.............'it's not very exciting, not really a good read, it talks about horrible terrible stuff this child had to live through, it was gross, disgusting. unimaginable.........but I guess the bottle line I take away from the book is............kids just want a home. Everyone just wants to be part of a family. Even when they get to be adults the bottom line is they just want to be loved and wanted.'

At some point around this time I do remember seeing a lovely little girls picture come across with kids in Haiti. Her smile caught me........but my mind thought...... 'how lovely, what a lucky family to adopt this girl...........but it's not for us right now'........

Life zooms by and we get busy with moving. Maybe all the events that factored into us moving all brought us to the point God wanted us............I don't know. But since we moved to a house with a 4th bedroom, we jokingly said we'd have to fill it and use it for God. But frankly, maybe I've said this too, having more kids by adoption costs more money.........I guess if we were going to have another child it would be because God wanted us to...........

The same day we were closing and moving in our house...........a list appears of kids waiting in Haiti. Well---wouldn't you know it..........the same lovely girl was still waiting and this time there was a grant offered with her. I seriously felt like she was waiting for us, my heart did a little leap. We looked into her information and prayed about it. It was actually Paul who opened up and asked someone to pray for us about it first, and yet somehow in the mists of praying for her and seeing her...............it made me fall in love with her and I just knew she would complete our family. Once Paul and I had decided we were open to it.............I left her picture on the counter to see what reaction I'd get form the kids. Alyssa asked about it and her response was..........'mom can we adopt her. Please, please. Please say YES before someone else does.' It was just even more of a confirmation that even the kids were open to more.

So maybe you're wondering what a book has to do with anything...........well I think it helped shaped my thinking...........life isn't going to be perfect...........adopting a 5, now 6 year old is going to be messy...............she hasn't had a perfectly loving home...........life has been hard....................but I do know that we would love her to be in our family....................somehow God opened our eyes to a very beautiful brown eyed princess............

Is this real??

I can't believe this is actually happening..............we've been living so long with the idea of him.........but now this is actually going to be real. It's seems too weird yet to me. There is so much to think on it all...........I'm thrilled and excited.............ready for the change..............scared about how my days will change.

I just finished going through some clothes we had of Austin. It was about 2 years ago that i started saving clothes so hopefully they are all about the right size since they are about 2 years apart. It seems so weird to look at the clothes and imagine Austin in them. I can remember what his favorites were and then I remember what he was into and playing with at the time. It's hard to think that Aidan is that big too. We saw Aidan when he was 2, just about 3 and now he's right around the corner to being 4. I sometimes picture more of a 2 year old, but when I get these clothes ready-----I'm wondering .....what is Aidan like? Will he be fiercely independent like Austin was at that age? Will he instinctively know all about what's cool for boys? There is so much of life and teaching that he has missed and yet will he just tag right along and play with the other kids like he's been doing it all his life?..........I am just so excited I can hardly stand it...............i'm not sure how the whole process goes picking him up, but I imagine we need to take clothes for him. So I picked out a couple short sleeves for when we are down there yet. I can't help and wonder if he's going to think it's cool...............will he feel like it's his?.....

This is a paragraph of a family who just picked up their boy, it was sent by a Bethany prayer warrior and it's pretty emotional..........

we are back from haiti......safe and well......thank you for all your prayers and kindness and donations.......i just want to tell you a sweet story about
our eli .......at the orphanage the younger children do not wear
shoes......barefoot with dirty toes the children run and play........only on
special occasions when a child gets to go for a walk with a volunteer or meets
their parents for the first time do these children get to wear
shoes.........you would not think the children associate shoes with
love....attention.....status......but they do.....the first time i dressed eli
and pulled out socks and a pair of black converse sneakers ......his eyes
widened with joy....he loved the feel of the socks and stomped around the room
proudly in his very own shoes!!! but when we tried to take them off for the
night.....he cried with loss.....he did not want "his shoes" to be taken from
him.......eli had to learn and trust us that these little sneakers were his and
we would put them back on him in the morning.......shoes in a sense became a
security ......the next day we visited the house where the older children
stay......as i held eli they came up to us and stroked his new
sneakers.......they instinctively knew eli had attained a freedom......a
change..........2 days later as we trekked through miami security.....the shoes
had to come off......howling with fury eli would not stop until we placed his
shoes back in his hands........the picture below is from the balcony off our
room where we basically cocooned with each other so we could promote bonding
and attachment.....eli is looking out from behind the bars...out into a
world......a big big world full of potential and promise........we hope we can
teach him trust and love.....and that he belongs to our Father....

I've been thinking about this through out the week. As excited as I am.........there is still fear in me. There will be so many changes going on for all of us....Can you imagine how Aidan is going to feel? I can't imagine ...........Can you just imagine what it will be like to come home to a SNOW storm??...........To do so many things for the first time...........and yet missing what is 'normal' to him.........and then Alyssa and Austin---the changes for them. I had a comical conversation with Alyssa but there were serious feelings being said. She asked why we had to be such a "coookie" (weird) family?..........I know there is alot of apprehension about the racial differences for her................Austin is thrilled at the idea of a playmate............I hope he's not disappointed, but that they instantly bond............and then there is Paul and I. I can only imagine Paul............he is such a great dad and loves being with the family, but he is stretched to the limits lately. Work can be stressful.............his wife is unstable (!!)..........his kids want his attention at night...........and then he's in school til May..........there is no official honey do lists---but he's well aware that it's a matter of time and the new house needs his help............and me......there is no time for moms' to have feelings...............but I sure am full of them...........I think it would be AWESOME to have Aidan home in Dec. December is such a special month anyways, and then add on the fact that both Alyssa and Austin were born and in our house in the month of Dec.-----how COOL it would be for Aidan to join in and have a special "gotcha day" in Dec. too. I would just be thrilled!!!! So I'm excited............yet reserved.............I know it is possible and should be no problem..............but I know that it could be Jan. before he's home. And can I add that we need to proceed like he might not be home in Dec. because our fingerprints expire Dec. 26 for him and so we need to do that process all over----and spend the money on it.............all because we don't know.............all the unknowns yet. So there is frustration with all the excitement. And how exciting to take Aidan home..............and how INDESCRIBABLY awesome to meet our daughter............yet how hard it will be to take one and leave one............and they are both old enough to have opinions............will they like ME? Will I be a tall, ugly giant to them?...........Will they have wished a fairy tale princess to come and sweep them away............and instead they get me?..........

All I can think is........."oh Lord. Please grant us all the wisdom and insight we need as parents to meet each childs' needs. May we see them in each circumstance and understand the feelings they are experiencing that we can show them our love and security. We love them...each of them, and they are all special individuals that you have created. You have a plan for each of them, an amazing plan........and may we as parents be used to grow our kids in YOU alone!"

Out of MOI

Sometimes you just have to make 2 posts in one day.......

We are OUT of MOI!!! This news sure picked me up this morning after still having a hard time of getting going after my weekend. I was debating about vegging it on the couch again for the day or doing some cleaning (disinfecting), but that just put a spring in my step :) So I have a clean house and great news :)

We have printing and visa to do, so maybe thinking 6ish weeks.

Crazy about you....

I see this poem every morning and it gives me a smile to know God loves me. Just wanted to share it with you and hope it brightens your day too ;)

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring

He sends you a sunrise every morning.

Face it, Friend..................HE IS CRAZY ABOUT YOU!!!

--unknown

Dissappointed

I was so looking forward to a great weekend......................a great night at the Selah and Avalon concert, Haitian gathering, talking with fellow adoptive parents, and we also had a church event of Feed My Starving Children---packaging food to send to Haiti, family gatherings, pizza, lasagna dinner..............and as we were walking out the door friday night................... I got the stomach flu. YUCK!!

I am just so disappointed. This was suppose to be a fun weekend--I can't tell you how disappointed I am............I guess to all the families I was so excited to meet and connect with, I hope to meet another time and I wish all of you the best with your adoptions. Maybe another time..........

Well, this weekend really shouldn't have surprised me. We haven't really been healthy during our Nov. 1-13 family challenge. We wanted to make it a learning experience of sharing with others and sharing what we had, but the logistics never quit worked out as well as we wanted. The idea of doing rice and beans was put on the back burner when Austin was sick. He had a fever for 6 days and was down on the couch for 9 days. We had a couple days of health and then I get the stomach flu and Austin followed right behind me in the middle of friday night with the stomach flu. So, it's hard enough to do something like rice and beans when life is normal and you're healthy, but it's much harder when Austin was sick and wasn't really eating those days anyway. But I guess on another subject of poverty--it give you a better perspective of how it might feel to be sick and not have all your needs met, but that another subject.

So we came up with a plan B, the idea of a "fast" from something we enjoy so that we can pray for the event. So we started that idea and took all candy away and no TV. (2 weak points for the kids) Mind you-- candy the day after Halloween was kind of tough. But to some extent the idea of candy gone while being sick and the idea of not having tv while being sick------somehow nothing seemed to work. (We'll have to look for other concrete ways to teach the kids............somehow I think the devil didn't want us to do all this, and we were the lucky people to get sick with it all going around) Anyways..........................we did pray for the event during those 13 days. And I hope it helped open peoples eyes to the children that are waiting for families and for the needs of GLA as the tirelessly give of all their time and energies to our kids.

As far as my wednesday morning prayer, that is something that can be done---sick or healthy :) It's actually been a great time to specifically pray for different aspects of adoption. Whether it be for our processes, or for the adjustments that will be part of the process. It's easy to foster general prayers, but to specifically have a talk time with Jesus---it's a new feeling. I guess I can say it's been a blessing in disguise. It's something that can only grow and be part of my life. Sometimes I get scared about what we are getting into with older kids adoption, and i think somedays prayer might be the only way we make it, so this has been a good thing.

National Adoption Month

When I look at you I don't see...

More mouths to feed,

more bills to pay,

more worries,

more pains,

more hassles,

more cost,

more burdens

or more work.

What I see is...

A chance,

a hope,

a promise,

a choice,

a person,

a dream,

a life,

a blessing,

a gift.

Now what?

You know I started this blog to keep friends and family up to date with the adoption. I thought maybe i'd have 20 entries within a big years timing and life would be good and Aidan would be home. Instead you get many many entries about how adoption has become part of every day life. Well I feel like I've hit a hard spot. As the summer came and went, I kind of keep different "goals" in my mind for when I might hear something. First we were occupied with moving, then it was just getting back into the fall schedules and school, and then I kept thinking we'll just make it til Paul is home from his China trip..........

well we've come and gone. I honestly can't say I have any other "goals" or routines to conqueror. Frankly---it's getting long and I JUST WANT SOME NEWS!!!!

As always, when I'm starting to need a pick me up, I came across something. I started a new bible study and these are the very words that were spoken the first night......................." If God has a mind to move in that office, He would. There is no place God cannot go."

Did you just read that? I've been so frustrated that we have stayed in our current stage for about 6 months, and it should have been about 3 months. So yes, I'm frustrated with "an office". And then I get sent this crazy message for me to hear-----I think it was specifically for me :)

So once again I have a great reminder that God is in control, and each day I need to bring it before God. I've been in this downward spiral of my prayers turning to pleading and convincing God, and I know that's not how God wants us to pray. I wanted to turn my prayers into praying for each area of the adoption process. Whether it be these very last stages or the very first stages for our 4th adoption, I just wanted to pray that processes can change, so they can process paperwork faster. Will you join me? I'm picking Wednesday mornings as my prayer time. Either right after I drop off the kids at school, or after my reading group commitments, but at some point between 8 and 12 I'd like to spend time praying for the process and I know many prayers can help, even a wednesday morning prayer on your way to work would be a blessing.

You know you're adopting when.........

I was picking up Alyssa up from a function and just having small talk with whoever else was picking up their kids. This is how the conversation went. Mind you I really don't know this person........

Other: So how many are you waiting for?

Me: Two.

Other: oh......(confused)........so do you have.....twins in 2nd grade?

Me: OH!!.........(they weren't asking me about what I was thinking about).......oh...ummm..........no.....I have one 2nd grader............and ....uumm........i think I may be taking someone else home..........yea.........not sure..........(phew--covered that up).............

Wow! Sometimes it can be comical how adoption is RIGHT THERE on my mind---they must have thought I was crazy

Original

Be YOURSELF

an original is always worth more than a copy!!

(This is hanging up in the 2nd grade classroom--I LOVE it!!)

Denying Oneself

Today i'm feeling so torn over causes that are sooo good. I have a pile of things we've received in the mail lately of organizations doing fundraisers. LPC, Beacon of Hope, Bethany Christian Services, Rescue Mission, Boys and Girls club, GLA, GLOW, Children of the Nation.............. I was looking through them and thinking about what we could afford to do and just feeling so overwhelmed by how many people are in need. I'm feeling so blessed, and yet there is a hurting world out there. It is my desire that each of these organizations are blessed with people who are passionate about them and able to support them. That they are able to reach many more than they could imagine. I just can't help and think how God wants the person who's life is filled with despair to be shown a life of hope...........

Of course I couldn't help and thing about this benefit concert that GLA is having. I know the orphanage has been going through alot of hard times. The economy is just terrible, things break as they do in life, generators are going out, vehicles are needed to transport families to airport and courts, and just basic necessities for the kids. They have never made it a requirement for families to pay a monthly $ amount, but I know that as adoptions are taking longer and longer, the cost doesn't cover as much as it use to. Of course having 2 kids at GLA my heart just breaks over their constant struggles. I was trying to think of a tangible way to get my family involved with giving. I guess if, as parents, we write out checks to organizations it only becomes a financial strain on us, but hasn't taught the kids anything. Since they are very aware about adoption and GLA I thought it would be good to get them involved with this one. To give to someone else, means to deny something for yourself. But it's hard to grasp the idea of denying something for yourself. We don't go out and buy toys just because, we really have the bare essentials of clothes, we make by with the basic sets of shoes, our couches are 10+ years old..............we really aren't a lavish family to begin with because that just isn't us.................so it's hard to wrap our arms around denying .............so from Nov. 1 until Nov. 13 of the benefit concert we were going to cut down our grocery bill. I'm not sure what that means yet. Maybe it will be beans and rice. I want it to be something that the kids will know they are giving up to help someone else. Maybe you could join us...........we'd love your prayers in our venture.

God never blesses an individual just for that person's exclusive benefit. God calls each of us to be a blessing to others

Fingerprinting

We completed our fingerprinting with our next adoption and were found.............."favorable...."

Yea!!!----I was a little worried after 4 times you know........lol.........but good to get it checked off our list :)

Career and calling

There has been this conflict, but I never knew it existed.

I guess I always thought in the back of my mind that maybe we'd have a couple kids, but eventually we'd move to a different country and I'd use my career skills as my calling in serving the Lord. That all sounds good and noble, right? We'd move to a remote hospital and work for HIM....

I think subconsciously I rationalized things to myself with that basis in the back of my mind. To some degree even pursuing our 3rd adoption, OH...my desire is my adoptions........yet I was worried it might not fit into the bigger pictures.......it's easier to travel with 2 kids, but 3 could be tricker............

I reasoned a lot of things in life.

I think our move brought about alot of discoveries inside us. Our move wasn't because of us wanting bigger or better. It was a combination of enviroment, circumstances, situations, dreams and hopes. Somehow in the midst of all our searching................I realized that MY DESIRE-----COULD ACTUALLY BE GOD's WILL--- ALSO!!!

oh, not my desire to move away and do ultrasound. See --that was what I rationalized was a good thing to do in life. My desire was-- and always has been-- to have a larger family.

See I've actually deep down always adored larger families. I've always loved them. .......... but somehow I figured my desire wasn't God's will. How would we have a large family if we were infertile??

But it all became very clear to me as pieces of our life started falling into place.

We moved for the combination of reasons, yet in looking--I really trust God directed us to this house. Oh--I don't think there is such thing as a perfect house---but somehow this house is all we could want. Frankly--it's a big bigger than we needed----but I think that is part of our story. We joked around about having more kids.................but more kids and bigger house= more expenses .............so let's say the reality of more kids was looking like we were in a rock and a hard spot----But we completely told God we'd use this house how he wanted.

So--for now--let's say that is the beginning of how we came to our 4th adoption.

In the mean time---I read these thoughts and they hit me like a ton of bricks.

"What appears to be a "slam dunk" may come back to haunt us if God never ordains us to enter that arena. There are many good things we can be involved with. However, there are God-things we are supposed to be involved with. God's ways are not our ways. The most important quality God desires to develop in us is our dependence on Him and Him alone. When we begin to make decisions based on reason and analysis instead of the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit, we get into trouble with God"

Good thing----rationalizing that my ultrasound background will be our way of serving God

God thing-----being a mom and being a family to the kids that God has placed with us and called us to have. Even blessing us with my deep down desires.

And can I add----I've never been so thrilled!!!!! Life is Good............God is GOOD...............Blessed be the name of the Lord.........................Maybe someday He will LEAD us down the other path, but for now He is led us to our kids!

Haircut time

Is it possible to have adoption hormones? I think they were doing a lot of my talking in my last post--LOL---and were in high gear recently!!

I usually don't spend too much time "surfing around" but in my moment I was checking out other adoptions and GLA info. I felt much better then :)

We can sign in on the GLA websight and it has all the kids listed and their stages of the process. Anyways, I've been keeping my eye on random names to see when they move to the next stage---and there were 2 kids that entered the MOI about the same time that we did and their status is now "visa" or "printing" So there has been some movement!!! And it gave me a big sense of hope that maybe we could be moving on soon too. So, that was so exciting!!! I was so thrilled to see that.......!!! I guess I can put away the gallon of ice-cream!!!

Families are now doing 1, if not 2 trips to Haiti through out the process to do some paperwork IN Haiti, so often there are random pictures of kids from other people's visits. So.......guess who I came across...............Aidan!! Looks like it was haircutting day!!

Latest Happenings

It's been a whole year since I was with Aidan!!

Oct. 3 of last year we were coming back from doing our paperwork in Haiti and meeting him. It's hard to put together all the thoughts that go through my mind. There are times I can't believe it's been a year. Times has flown. In fact the other day I commented that if you would have told me it would be a year---i would have expected to have everything perfect and prepared for him. Well, Yes---we're definitely prepared for him.....but "perfect" has yet to be defined. If things were perfect............I'd be fluent in Creole, I'd have his photo album started of his life story and up to date, I'd have the house in perfect organization and we'd be waiting around doing nothing. But quite frankly, I think when he joins us we'll do all the life stuff together with him. His photo albums will be just as far behind as the other kids', and house projects will still be happening and he will just be helping with them. So yes.............we're still patiently waiting and still just waiting to do life with him.

If it's possible to go fast and slow at the same time, we're experiencing that too. It's been the slowest time because it seems like we've known about him for forever. I can't believe how much of his life we're missing out on. I get angry at the same time---not for us, but for how much of his childhood is being taken away..............he could be enjoying a family already. I get impatient, bitter, thrilled for the possibilities, excited to have him home, filled with dispair................and then I just push all those emotions away and become numb to it all. There is nothing I can do....................

oh yes, I know God is in control. Yes--life goes on and time is filled up. But there are also real feelings the rear their ugly little heads sometimes. It's hard not to ache when Alyssa prays at the supper table, " and God please, please, PLEASE send Aidan home because we just really want our brother home."

okay--so enough of my venting. I try not to vent, so sorry. I don't want to have a pitty party, but there are times this process gets weary.

Now for the good news.

We had some new pictures show up in our "in box" this weekend!! And I'd have to say they are some of the cutest ever :)

Actually as I'm typing this I think maybe it's the updates that are bitter sweet. I LOVE the updates. Absolutely positively LOVE them. It's a way of feeling connected and watching him grow, but maybe there is some bittersweet to them. I think my initial reaction is excitement, but then it turns to frustration and disappointment and being angry at the process.

Anyways, here is the sweetest boy in Haiti..........

Didn't he take good "school pictures"?

Another exciting event......the Michigan Haiti group is having a Selah//Avalon benefit concert in honor of GLA!!!! I think this is huge!! And I think it's going to be a GREAT evening!! I think both groups will be awesome to hear and we will have the privilege of having the orphanage director in town also. And it's all to raise money for the O. So if you are around the area, we'd love to have you join us for the event!!!

It would be awesome if Aidan were home for a weekend of Haitian gatherings and events, but I guess second best is to spend time with families who are in the process or who have already adopted kids from Haiti. So we're looking forward to these great events :)

One more thing........so here we are adopting another child too---a little girl. I guess I'm still waiting to get some "official" referral stuff. Yes--we're in this process since Aug., but it's waiting for the paper trail to catch up and so we haven't started our "official" updates on her. I will post more on her and how she came into our lives, but just wanted to let you know I am definitely not forgetting about her. Not possible :) You can add that to my vent list.............just how long simple processes can still take :)

Different

"I use to spend a lotta time worrying that I was different from other people..........but I found out everyone is different............We're all regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. ........... Truth is.........this earth ain't no final resting place."

from a paragraph of Same kind of different as Me

This was an AMAZING book to read. It was a powerful story. I've read so many good books lately, but this is a must read. And I absolutely loved the above paragraph. Read it again and let it sink in a little bit............

Maybe you're like me. I am employed and have a job, but for the most part I am a stay at home mom. For this season of my life I need and love to be home, but i need to keep up my skills if I want to use it later in life, but I don't quite fit in at work with work place talk, but when I'm with other stay at home mom's I am a little different because I do still have a job I need to make time for and think about. I'm left feeling different............

Or eventually we'll have 4 kids and I can talk all day about parenting, but I don't always quite fit in when conversations turn to birthing stories. I have seen one of my kids' birth, but I didn't get to experience giving birth. And I wonder if it even crosses peoples mind that I'm different or if it's not even thought of.....

Or sometimes I don't have enough money to have the latest , but I have more money than someone else who is needing to downsize. I may want someone to go for a coffee, but my friend doesn't want to spend money on a coffee. Or another friend might want to go for a fine dine and shopping spree and I don't want to spend money on that. So once again you're left feeling like you're a little different.......

not quite fitting in with any particular circle.....................or anyone..............But we're ALL different. And I love the part that we're all "walking down the road God done set in front of us".......

AMEN!!!

Oh-how I love them!

I watched Alyssa and Austin going to school last week and i just wanted to squeeze them...........I love them so much and are so proud of them. I can't wait til the others can join!!!!

I LOVE THIS CHILD!

And THIS child!!

And THIS child!!!!

And THIS child!!!

"I pray that you, being

rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ... that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~Ephesians 3:17-19

The Little things

I love this email, I've seen it a couple times.

The ' L I T T L E ' Things~ As you might remember, these people survived 9 - 11 because..... The head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten. Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because her Alarm clock didn't go off in time. One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an auto accident. One of them Missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change. One's Car wouldn't start. One couldn't Get a taxi. The one that struck me was the man Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, Took the various means to get to work But before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.. Now when I am Stuck in traffic , Miss an elevator, Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ... All the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, This is exactly where God wants me to be At this very moment..

---

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Simply Said

"Manuel is such a great little kid and so happy! He has the most adorable little grin, and he uses it often. About the only time I do not see Manuel smiling is when he has his thumb in his mouth......" from our Aug. update on Aidan.

GUESS WHAT................GOOD NEWS!!!!!!

Got your attention, right? Well I just couldn't wait any more!!!!! I was trying to wait for our update pictures, but didn't get what I was looking for. So I just have to tell you the news..................we're ADOPTING again!!!!! That's right............you read it correctly. We are adding to our family again:) We are adding a girl from Haiti. I feel like it's a God thing.............she's got a great story..............but just haven't put it all down yet into thoughts on paper. So hopefully you'll see pictures soon and hear more about it. Alyssa was the first to "spill the beans"..............by praying for her in front of some people. Such innocense!! Seeing that we have a long wait still ahead of us.................**sigh**.............you'd think I could wait til I could post a picture, but at the same time many family and friends have already heard through casual conversation with us over the last week, so we wanted to keep all our family and friends up to date!!

She's a lovely 6 year old and we can't wait to meet her when we ever go pick up Aidan :)

Summer in Review....

I was feeling bad thinking about our summer..............at spring time I was thinking this was going to be the summer of FUN . The 2 kids are at GrEaT ages to do fun activities...........but our summer ended up a little different. We started with a flood in our basement and remained packed in boxes til we moved in Aug. I spent more time cleaning, working, and being over-whelmed than I did feeling like we had tons of fun. But then as I looked over all our pictures...............I realized we had ALOT of fun. We had lots memorable times. I may have been over-whelmed, but the kids were having a blast playing.

Highlight was a week of camping and playing with cousins. It was one of the few hot, beach times

Austin was quite the mechanic and cleaner of his scooter

Paul and his brother went camping with the kids-----and everyone survived :)

In fact Alyssa was introduced to bologna on that camping trip, and she loves it. So I've bought my first bologna this summer. The simple things......................

Catching turtles

This looks awesome, doesn't it?

Fun times!!

Dressing Bella up for 4th of July

Our new house---there is tons of excitement on our move and more to come in the future :)

Yes---lots of cleaning.......

But also lots of playing at the new house!!

Other highlights were planning and having a kool-aid stand, learning to tie our shoes, playing with friends, picking peaches----and of course getting cider donuts at the orchard :), a trip to Chicago, swimming...........going on vacation and on a few bike rides........Climbing sand dunes. Maybe we weren't at the beach as much as I thought I might be...............but I'm looking forward to fall walks and being outdoors. One of our last ventures this week before school starts is going to the beach and climbing Mt. Pisgah and eating at pronto pups..............we are so looking forward to that :)