coffee time

The unknowns are such a killer. My mind was racing around and I could feel myself getting very anxious. I was trying to plan out what I thought would be best and how "the end" might play out. I was thinking it would be cool to have Aidan home at the beginning of Christmas break so that during break the kids would get a chance to play with him...............then I was thinking maybe right before the New Years. And how should we handle Christmas parties...........and should I hope for "normal" holidays for Alyssa and Austin...........but I don't think life can be "normal" until after Aidan gets home. He's there.............on our mind................we're waiting............unable to plan............life is not normal while we wait. We're ready to get on with this. I could just feel my stomach being a bundle of anxious nerves.

so I stopped..........made some coffee............and had a date............

It was just me, my coffee, God and his word.

I didn't ask God to bring Aidan home in Dec., all I asked for was the ability to lay it all down. To feel His presence and be able to hand it all over to Him. God has a perfect plan..........a perfect timing. I don't have to worry about what is best for us, for the kids, or for Aidan. God knows what's best and it will all work out according to that plan. I just asked God for his peace and patience.

So I feel refreshed in Him. Yes---I still check the voice mail and email as soon as I walk in the house..........but deep down I know I have no say in when this all happens so why waste my time thinking about it. Deep down I think I know that my 6ish weeks can't be taken literally. It can be 3-12 weeks......so why try to plan.

i think we are going to enjoy the holidays with where we are at. I think I'd rather be pleasantly surprised and excited than to be disappointed and frustrated.

And as I was having my coffee time..........this is what I read......

⁶ so that from the rising of the sun

to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.

I am the LORD, and there is no other..

.There is no one else----Only the LORD----YHWH---the keeper.

It's not by what man does.............only the Lord...........He is in control!!!

I am not anxious, my stomach is unknotted...........I love coffee time...........