a bad day in Cancun is still better.......

It didn't take much convincing from Paul that we should get away, just the two of us, and take a vacation. He mentioned it one night, but we didn't talk about it. I thought about it for a day and was totally on board. I thought of all the years..........we could inconvenience our parents for a few days. So thanks to 2 moms and a sister, we had 6 days of a glorious vacation!!!!

It was SO WONDERFUL to just be away from the routines of daily life. It was time to get away and just have time to be refreshed, and come back with lots more patients. We stayed at an all inclusive, so it was FABULOUS to have everything done for us......room was cleaned, food was always prepared, and cleaned up, fresh towels were at our service....whatever we wanted, and with no responsibilities to go along with it!!!! We could eat whenever we wanted...........and didn't have 4 kids to get ready and make sure it was a 'kid friendly' menu!!

But i do have to say that the weather was just OKAY. Our day of arrival and the following day were great! We warmed our chilled snowy bodies in the sun and enjoyed listening to the waves while snoozing! But then we had 2 days of rain, followed by chilly sweatshirt weather. Many activities were cancelled, like the windsurfing that we were looking forward to trying out, the snorkeling, catamaran boats.........So, we did ALOT of reading! We found some couches in the lobby that were in a nice setting with waterfalls and made ourselves comfy! The last day when there was no rain, we bundled up and sat on the beach yet.

Around the 4th day, a family came that had 4 or 5 kids and they were jumping in the pool even though it was sprinkling. My first thought was..........that's usually us---freezing our butts off in a pool or lake just so the kids can play.....and I didn't really envy the parents. not at all. But after hearing the kids laughing and jumping in.............I'll admit---I thought about the kids. I was SO looking forward to soaking up the sun and "forgetting" about the kids.............but REALLY---the kids have a way of making life fun! My first choice would have been to have sunshine and no kids, but if we couldn't have the sunshine, then I admittedly missed the kids.

So I wasn't really ready to deal with routine life...........but it was GOOD to see the kids. And they had a huge surprise party for us when we got home! I think they spent all day getting decorations, balloons, making cookies, a cake, and then having supper ready for us when we came home. (Thanks Lisa) And everything was clean and laundry done---so life is good!

Path from our room to the beach.

Cool cloudy skies

Snuggled in our sweatshirts and towels

trying to catch the beach, even wrapped up

By the couches we sat at for 2 days

The awesome swim chairs--for the brief day we used them :)

just a cool picture!

Now for the deep thoughts:

Being in an airport this time of year brought on a lot of emotion. January 12 was the year mark of the Earthquake in Haiti. When the calendar turned to January, I didn't feel very emotional about it, but being in a similar setting, brought it all back to reality of the happenings. I realize this has been a HUGE year. I know I've said that before. But there just isn't words to describe that i think I was a walking zombie those first months. i have more understanding for ANYONE who has life changing events in their life. The ability to cope with unexpected life changing events is a process. Anyways, as I thought about the year, I realize how far we HAVE come. We are doing good. We are functioning----WELL. In fact, in the last month there was a situation that Paul and I both commented on the fact that we couldn't have imagined this with just 2 kids instead of 4. So life with 4 kids IS good. It's GREAT!

As we prepared for vacation, I was totally thinking that a week of soaking up the sun was going to be the cure all for dealing with the daily routines. I just needed to sleep away my responsibilities and let them drift off with the surf. I was thinking this was just going to be what I needed, and would be able to pick up the pieces and deal a lot better after vacation. But.............in reality.............even a perfect vacation isn't the cure all. I couldn't help and think about how I haven't really let God take care of the daily living in our lives. We started this quest by earnestly seeking God with direction for our life, since we had two kids and were ready for the next part in life. So He was real, and alive and leading us............and then somehow I let go of Him. I somehow didn't bring Him into our daily living when He gave us this next step in life. And somewhere along the line, this daily living has become pretty exhausting this year. There are times that I want to kick and scream about how our life has changed. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the kids----I love all 4 kids. It's just not having guidance to start each day.....I'm never going to be able to do it all. It's only going to be with His help that we have a successful daily life and meeting the needs of each kid. If I try to do it on my own, all it takes is being hit with one of the 4 kids' attitude and it's spirals downhill from there all day. And the thing is.........I know this. But I just kept pushing God away. Thinking I didn't have time and that life was going 'good'. Sometimes even being angry for the craziness that has come from following God. So I was okay with 'good'........but not really satisfied. A 'good life' isn't good enough for me. I want life to be "great"......and I can't do that on my own. It's a daily surrender. Daily.

So I guess if it took going on vacation to realize...once again.... that a vacation wasn't going to fix my daily routines, but only God can..........it was worth going on.