my 2 angles

As I glance back over the last posts, it shows highlights of great times. But life isn't all swimming and sun and playing. In fact, there is constant change and re-evaluation........... what is working and what isn't. We have one that won't listen or throws a full on kicking tantrum when told "no", or one that gives haughty eyes. We had to put a stop to the girls being caddy and snobbish. We made a decision to separate the girls into separate bedrooms. We have one that loves any attention by others, and just making sure the attention comes from us. Even issues of food come up. just the every day trying things...........learning manners and not finishing off others plates. When enough food is enough. And also on the other end. Learning we eat at dinner, and not having 10 snacks times a day. And sometimes it's not even issues, but just being irritated.......and there are times that I just get sick of being nice and staying positive with the kids.............and I can get matter of fact and grouchy with the kids too. Each day I feel like at the end of the day we are talking about an issue that seems to directly come from the change in our family or impacts of this event in our lives.

I need to also tell you about something I heard that had been haunting me for a long time now. Shortly after the kids came home, I heard an adoption counselor saying that "unfortunately, too many people in this area think that 'they were called by God' to adopt, but that isn't enough reason to have a child"...... That has always haunted me, because I have always been unable to explain why we chose to adopt internationally other than God. I feel like we have fought the process along the way in a spiritual sense, and yet have had peace knowing that God is in control. So when I heard a professional saying that..............it made me doubt myself .......because there are days that our whole world have been turned and shaken and beaten up side down.

So I was at the beach and carrying Aidan up the steps. 2 ladies started making small talk and asking where he was from. I kind of have my spiel down..........."they are from Haiti. They came home after the earthquake....but we were connected with them before it.".....yada, yada, yada. They made their small talk too........they had both adopted kids.......about 8 or 10 years ago. So after a minute of small talk, the conversation turned very intentional. It was like everything else in the world stopped for a moment. They were on each side of me and one took my arm and just said everything I needed to hear. She went on and said...........'you know it's hard right now. But it does get easier. You are here for a reason and a purpose. And God has you here because he has a plan. And you are part of God's plan and God has a purpose for all this ' I just stood there speechless, biting back the tears. And one of them went on to say..."you will not look back and doubt your sense of family once you start making your memories as one. When you have history with them, that is when you realize that you are in it together." And just the assurance that GOD HAS A PLAN...........oh how i needed to hear that. And I needed to hear it from someone who has been there, done that..............a seasoned adoptive parent.

Well......it began to rain so we had to say good bye. Actually we had gone to the beach to watch a storm roll in. Once we saw lightening and felt some rain, that is when we had walked up the stairs..............but for that 10 minutes the storm held off so that I could have my visit with 2 angels. I walked away to catch up with the others knowing that Yes!...there are such things as angels.