Paul has had a few trips out of town this spring. One being to Orlando, Fl. He was staying at a great resort with a nice pool, walking distance from Universal, so he asked if I might be able to join him. All of me wanted to say NO, just because we had just gone away on a vacation this winter and had our kids taken care of---and yet it was just too good to pass up the opportunity. But I decided to take advantage of the time with one of the kids. I took Alyssa with us to Florida and it was a wonderful time of connecting with her.
We had fantastic weather, and just a great time. We basically had 2 full days of being together plus the half days of the travel in and out. Paul was actually really busy, we spent one evening with him, otherwise we were on our own----so the girls played!!!!!
First thing on the agenda was to get our toe nails done........they were in rough shape. Then we relaxed and played in the pool, we walked a river walk to Universal. It was about a 5 minute walk, or you could take a river boat ride too. There were stores to check out and lots of action going on. Once we knew Paul's agenda more and he was busy for the entire day and evening, we decided we'd go to Sea World and that was cool....neat shows, we fed dolphins, good time!
You know, I always thought it would be nice to do an over nighter with each of the kids when they got to be around the age of 10. This was a little "more" than planned, but was needed for us. The older Alyssa gets, I realize complexities to her. That's a whole other post idea......nature vs. nurture......but just understanding her personality. She is highly social, very outgoing, creative, a genius, wants to lead, appears very confident..... She is one of the loves of my life. And yet she is so full of sensitivities, and insecurities, has some phobia's. She can have a difficult time expressing her deep emotions.....just full of complexities. She's had her own adjustment with the additions to our family. I can't even say it has gone bad. Actually for the most part.....it has gone well. But what can I say, other than...........there are many parts to this adjustment for a kid to take in and some of her frustrations in normal life and growing up, were all being taken out on family and especially Samara. She wasn't necessarily irritated with Samara, but it was easy to take out life on someone who is an innocent family member.
It was actually a great time to share with Alyssa that sometimes life can be hard. Sometimes life is following what God planned for you. And sometimes life may not be exactly how we thought, but God is in control. And Alyssa gets that. I think that's an important thing to talk about in family. It's important to know that parents need to rely on God too. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that life is always rosey and we have it all together. Because reality is, we need to depend on God daily too.
Anyways, I feel like it was a good time for both of us. She seems to have turned a corner. Before she had acceptance but was holding back something, and it seems like each day that wall gets lower and it's about total acceptance. For myself........I actually missed all the kids. When I went away in January I will admit, I wasn't ready to come back to all the kids and didn't miss them. But this time, I actually missed them. When I came back I saw that Aidan has missed me too. He seemed to regress a bit in his speech and his teacher said he really missed me. So there was a sense that he needed me. And just as I talked about Alyssa with her acceptance.........we are both human and it can be the same for me.
So it was a time of connecting since the adoption, and also a time to talk about life. boy.....I don't think I'm ready for any next stages......but whether I'm ready or not.....they will come. We talked about importance of taking care of ourselves, hygiene, how bodies change, and all that good stuff. Knowing how to listen to our bodies and be in control (needing more sleep instead of being crabby) and importance of habits and devotions. Not too much, but just enough to plant seeds. It's good to get it all out in the open about life too. Emotionally, we're not ready for everything so more talks will continue to come..........yet I think it's important to have it be on going communication and openness...........and not just a one time event. It struck me about a month ago while I was at work. I was working with a 13 year old who was very mature, could answer questions about her body, was developed in all ways..................and inside my jaw was dropping to think that in 3 years a body can accomplish from point A to point B. I don't think I"m ready for that.........and I know both Paul isn't!!
Anyways, it's fun to think about what we'll do with each of the kids in the upcoming years. looking forward to other fun adventures as the kids get older and need one on one time too.
